Artist Spotlight: I Used to be Sam

Musical powerhouse I Used to be Sam re-emerges onto the scene gifting us their self-titled debut EP. With their thought-provoking and beautifully complex collection of songs, the artist presents a body of work rich in discourse of acceptance and self-discovery. A transracial adoptee (TRA), the artist allows listeners on a personal journey of identity and healing with this cathartic fusion of misty-cinematic, folk-pop lays.

Speaking openly on their journey, the artist platforms their adoption background, sharing with their listeners a transition from Annie Goodchild to I Used to be Sam. Nurturing themselves and their audience with this debut offering, the artist champions a voice for themselves, as they bring a refreshingly authentic perspective and sound in channeling growth and release into their music. 

Taking a moment to sit down with The Pit, we get into the mind of I Used to be Sam, as we discuss their debut, moving through, and what’s in store in this chapter for them.

Your EP has just come out, and I understand this is a really personal body of work, also being self-entitled. Can you tell us about your EP?

I’m a transracial adoptee, and that's when you’re adopted by people that are a different race to you. I think in general being adopted has been a huge part of my identity. After a DNA test, some reconciliation with some birth family, and also some rejection from my birth mother, I just kind of decided that I couldn’t really hold all that anymore. So I just started to write this EP. It consists of 5 songs and each of the songs is almost a different emotional reaction that I had to that situation. 

The flow of the collection was really natural, can you tell us about the curation process for the EP? 
Yes, Gentle was the first song that I had written for the project, and I think I felt it only right to place it as the first song. I knew going into this process that I was going to have to show up for myself in a way I hadn’t before. I’m always telling people that I love, to be a friend to themselves, and I needed to take my own advice. And sometimes I still do! I needed to be this loving, kind, nurturing version of myself for me. I knew I needed to uphold my boundaries, something I’m not good at. I also knew writing this EP was going to get reactions from my adopted family and even the public that may have strong feelings about adoption. And for me, Gentle really felt like the right way to start the process off. 

Leading from the previous question, do you have a favourite song from the EP?

Each of the 5 songs touches on a different topic or different aspect of this process and they all feed me in different ways. There is something special about ‘Gentle’, in some ways, it's like a love song to myself and that was not something I’ve really put into practice before. I think the chorus on ‘Seamstress’ makes me feel really powerful but I'm in love with many bits and pieces. 

Your sound is such a beautiful mix, so rich and complex, who or what would you say are some of the strongest influences in your sound? 

I think the human experience is very complex, there are so many layers and reactions, that I think it would be impossible to communicate as honestly and as close to whatever it is I'm trying to communicate in just one genre. But music-wise and thinking of the soundtrack to my life, I grew up on American Hip-hop and R&B, really listening to the great female vocalists, and then I fell in love with folk music, classical music - there’s all these ways of storytelling, so all these things are always in my music. 

Your music feels so natural. Can you talk about your introduction to music, where did your interest in music really start? 

I was lucky enough to grow up in a house with a piano and a Mom that listened to a lot of jazz and classical music. So I don’t really remember a time when I wasn't really impacted by sound and music. I had this compilation of an Aretha Franklin Double CD and I just remember obsessing; playing it over and over, and then listening to the Bodyguard soundtrack or the Preacher Wife soundtrack, and that music felt all-consuming for me because you're feeling the singers so intensely. 

I also have a plethora of learning disabilities and ADD, and I think music was the one thing that wasn’t hard, it wasn’t a challenge; it was something that just came naturally. So I’ve always placed a lot of attention and value on it because it was an area where I could value myself in a way. And I think that childhood trauma just led to some hard work haha! 

With this thoughtful collection, you explore some complex emotions, really positioning the listener to look within. What was the journey like for you in writing and preparing the material?

The intense hurt I felt from the re-rejection of my birth mom was like a total heartbreak. It still is, It’s like the stranger of my dreams. This person who every birthday I’m going to think is she thinking about me? All those things, you know. Experiencing that hurt sucked, but it created movement, it created a wound that was already there, and even if I’m not healed it’s been about learning to live with it. So writing the songs felt like I was just keeping the momentum of that movement and healing. I don't know if it felt like a big release because I have a lot more to say about it. I think this EP is really like my initial feeling and reactions. And now I'm more educated on adoption and the industry that it is, and I now have more perspective on my own experience. So yeah, as I keep writing, exploring, and learning, more and more healing will happen. I don't know, I’m figuring out how to live with it and music is how I’m going at it right now.

What’s one thing you want the listener to take away from your EP?

For my listeners that are TRA or adoptees, I want you to take away the fact that you’re valid and your experiences are valid. That you’re allowed to be angry about things even by the most well-intentioned of people. Because if somebody caused you trauma, just because it was well-intentioned doesn't mean it was ok. That was a huge learning curve for me in all of this. Take away from this, that this work is for you, and it’s even an honor to hold up a mirror to your story. I think for everybody else just as music-lovers, if you want some, hopefully, delicious cinematic folk-pop then enjoy! And also maybe on a bigger level, if this sparks some conversation around adoption, that you weren’t even aware of having. Then I feel really happy with that.

Top songs on your playlist?

Let’s see! Laura Mvula ‘Sing to the Moon’, I could really name 5 songs of that album alone. It’s so lush! Oh also ‘Make me Lovely’, she did a version with an orchestra from Holland. ‘On the Nature of Daylight’ by Max Richter the composer, I think it’s just one of the most beautiful pieces of modern music, it gives me all of the feels, all of the time. Mariah Carey ‘Always be my Baby’, a classic!

What are you looking forward to, what’s in store for this chapter? 

The EP just came out and in a few weeks, there’s going to be another video that comes out that I'm really excited about, with a bunch of Swiss artists - I’m based in Switzerland right now. I’m working on a collaboration with a Norwegian artist named Redmoon and she makes really beautiful lush worlds, and I like to think I am trying to do the same and semi-succeeding at that haha, so the thought of combining those worlds and seeing what we create is really exciting. And I’m writing a lot; the next batch of feelings and songs is in here! And then hopefully some live shows.